A.S.B - Sarah Richardson

So you walk in, talking, girls trip and fall in at your feet. You never miss a beat as you meet and greet you fans. You stand, tall but cool, happy to take a back seat as people try to taxi along with you, I’m with you. And for a second I catch your eye and I think, fuck, what if he was mine? I want to get your attention so I fall into every stereotypical intention, as I clench in, wrenched in, end up drenched in anything to fit into perfection. Beauty’s pain as I get slain by the blisters forming as I conform into wearing those lace up, waist up, trying to keep my face up boots. I mean, I’m a feminist you know, but sometimes it goes out the window as I try to attract and interact with you. Principe I live by, give by, disappear as I try to get your attention by falling into social conventions because apparently I’m not supposed to be intelligent or excellent, everything about me is irrelevant except these tricks we used to get picked up. See this is where I know I’m going to be single forever, unable to mingle, sitting in my bed stuffing my face full of Pringles cause I can’t do these tricks. I tried giving you that look but something was wrong, I’m holding it for too long, staring, wearing you down, not blinking, freaking you out. Or I’m just too quick, back and forth as in I’ve got a twitch, an inch in my eye. I use the toilet as an excuse to sashay past you, slyly catching your eye or seeing them watching my thighs. I go more frequently just to get you to look at me, friends start asking questions, coming up with suggestions, one asks if I’ve got a UTI as I’ve gone to the toilet 5 times in the last half hour, offering me tablets to power on through. Fuck. I think about going up to you and explaining I don’t have an infection, I’m just trying to get your attention without getting sectioned. But I don’t think that fits into the rule book, so I go rogue as I can’t do selfies or Vogue. I’m not getting your attention by following these condescensions, They don’t work because I can’t pass the test, I’m a bit of a mess, I’m too loud, brash, I make rash decisions, I laugh for too long and I’m sorry but I don’t like wearing thongs. But I can hold a conversations, sure I will swear at every exclamation but I am smart and interesting, So if you have a thing for a girl who goes from awkward to confident in a flick and a twirl, then maybe we should chat and give this thing a whirl. Because while your cool, calm and collected, you have affected me, And I’m forgetting whats expected of me, As I turn back and catch you taking a second glance, checking me, I think maybe you might be in a chance of getting with me.

#SarahRichardson

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